Post-workout blues

I'm back from circus practice, have had a bit of dinner, and now I must confess that I'm a little disappointed in myself. There were so many tricks that I wanted to work on, but I hardly got to half of them, and some of the ones that I had time for didn't work out correctly. I seem to have inexplicably forgotten how to do one of my favorite tricks on the silks, French back balance, to the point where I actually got myself tangled. Okay, the forgetting isn't so inexplicable, since according to my notes the last time I did it was in June, but still. It was really frustrating.

Before tonight, I had been planning to work on a silks routine for the spring showcase next year, but now I think that there's no way I can make that happen. My strength and endurance aren't enough for more than two or three tricks in a row, so how the heck did I think I would be able to manage a four minute performance? Plus, some of the tricks that I was planning to put into the act won't work quite as expected, so I have some major rethinking to do. I know that there's lots of time between now and then, and I shouldn't get so down on myself, but it's hard to keep my spirits up when the things that I thought would be easy for me turned out to be so challenging. So how am I ever supposed to learn the things that I thought would be hard?

There were some notable successes tonight too, though, so it wasn't all doom and gloom. I spent a lot of time on the trapeze working on my front balance, and I managed to hold it quite well and for much longer than ever before. That felt really good. I should clarify --- it felt good inside, although it really hurt the top of my hips. I feel like my inability to do a decent front balance has been holding me back, since it's involved in a lot of tricks, and I'm happy with my progress in getting closer to mastering it.

I also had some success on the silks recreating a drop that I learned when I was in Australia. The instructor there called it an Isle of Man drop, and I've never seen anyone do anything like it at my school, which makes it extra fun for me to have in my repertoire.

Plus, I got to try out a new circus outfit: Fluorescent red stirrup tights under a pair of black running shorts. Finally, I've something that American Apparel is good for other than convincing frumpy middle-aged women and overweight high school girls to squeeze themselves into brightly colored 70s throwback outfits that were designed for spindly, anemic-looking tarts with anorexia. I couldn't get any pictures, alas, since we open-practicers were chased out at 7 sharp to make room for the class that needed the studio after us. Besides, I didn't have much strength left at the end of the practice to get into any particularly interesting positions for a photo. But I'll be back next week, with lots more tricks to try and a new resolve to whip myself into shape for the spring.