The Nissan Cube
Yeeeeeaaaaaah. Where do I begin? Was no one looking at the drawings for this thing before they put it into production? It looks like a milk carton on wheels. It has wraparound glass in the back, presumably so its hapless passengers can press their noses to it and stare longingly at the normal cars passing by. Its grill looks flimsy and cheap. It's a disturbing shade of powder blue. I heard that the sixties were back, but this is ridiculous. Just because Walter Cronkite looked good when seen inside a rounded-off square doesn't mean that you will, too. Quite the opposite, in fact.
One more for today:
The Ford Sport Trac
I can't believe I forgot to include this on my original list. I have hated these creepy-looking half-bed pickup trucks ever since I first saw them. There's only one way to describe them: mutants. Some mad scientist got the brainy idea to mate a regular pickup truck with a four-dour sedan and deliver the baby in a room full of plastic shrapnel, and this is the result. It's the worst of both worlds. The front says "Grr! I'm a manly man's truck!" and the back says "I'm with stupid. Help! Get me out of here!" Only it says it in a really high, squeaky voice because it's just a pickup-like growth attached to the cab and hasn't reached full size yet.
My best guess is that they left the "k" off the end of "Trac" as an accurate reflection of the shame and embarrassment that this truck must feel whenever it looks in the mirror and realizes that it's incomplete. Then it sulks back to its parking spot and weeps hot tears of transmission fluid.
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